Guys, I scored the mother lode in gear from my brother and sister-in-law today. Here are some of the things they freely handed over (in case authorities have questions later):
- Jetboil – apparently this apparatus is for cooking. It looks real dangerous. I can’t wait to try to light it.
- Retractable torch – again, fire is involved. This will be so fun!
- Wire saw – Looks like string but is actually a saw blade. For when I need to saw my arm off. Leatherman’s are so yesterday.
- Towel tablets – it looks like a tablet, put it in water and voilà, you’ve got yourself a face towel.
- Laser light – no idea but I will find a use for it, most likely an inappropriate one.
- Backtracker – a GPS/compass for idiots. It comes with directions, which pretty much defeats the purpose.
- Solar powered iPhone charger – what the what!? Shut. Up.
- Bear Keg – those bears really know how to party.
- Primo’s un-scent wipes – for hunting but apparently it takes all your smell away. If my team is nice, I just might oblige them and remove my smell.
- . In Case of Emergency Gel Energy – like 5 Hour Energy, times a thousand. I doubt this stuff is street legal.
And there is so much more. It is really sad how excited I get over gadgets, especially considering our reading of High Altitude Leadership by Warner and Schminke (2009). They warn that tool seduction is one of the 9 vices of leadership and can lead to death on the mountain, as well as in the board room. Even sadder is the new hoarding adventure I’m sure this will inspire. I’ve dropped about 3 developmental levels in a matter of minutes. Oooh shiny object, me want! The stressful parts will be 1) Not losing or wrecking any of it, 2) Minimizing things blowing up in my face, and 3) Deciding what is an absolute necessity because I want to carry it all in my pack. Unfortunately, I can’t be throwing things out of my pack when it starts to feel too heavy on the mountain, since it is not my stuff.